Mow a meadow

Or subdue it with impressive fake machinery

Sad music

She discovered a hitherto unknown propensity

Eye time

"And don't be late," warned the bad fairy

Back to you in the studio

We'll take a break now, but when we come back,

another live cross to the list of tonight's top stories

New potato, old potato

The world is only upside down if you're on the other side of it

Invigoration of the workboots

Testing shows certain modifications could be necessary

Outside the facial factory

A brick is as good as a pineapple

The day the world went global

It was a mustard-coloured Wednesday

My but your teeth are white

Dental secrets of the idiosyncratic

Cellovision

I wish to be restored to the factory settings

Up to our eyeballs

There seems to be rather a lot of water

The spice etc

Salt, Pepper, Mustard

Hospital tent

Just popped in for a paracetamol

Indications

We have had some. They are not entirely reliable

Your problem for today

What went wrong with the Blink Generation?

Make it louder

Pardon?

Night watch

One to sleep, one to watch: the system is working

Door demonstrators

Despite excellent work, most people did not appreciate the concept

Look sky

Sometimes it's hard to accept that even when it isn't there, it's there

Boutique

"Would the young lady care to see something from the cabinet?"

A little dance

Have one, do one, be one

Factory hands

That's correct, it's an industrial strength pun

This bouquet

Pardon me a moment. I believe this is for you?

Suitor unsuitability

She asked him not to take it personally

but he was far too preoccupied with treading air

View from the sea side

Long distance swimmers may encounter unexpected offshore structures

Gothic

Traipsing through the draughty night,

wondering if the author could contrive

an ending involving marriage to her guardian

The point of pointing

By and large, it's to enlarge... the point

Instructions

To speak to the Ombudsman, press O

To hear a lullaby, press L

To buy crisps, press P

If you are under 18, press shift + <

If you are over the limit, press shift + >  approximately

To pause and then continue, press ,

To end, press . or just hang up

Spiral Bound Salon

"And how does Madam like it?"