Hospital tent

Just popped in for a paracetamol

Indications

We have had some. They are not entirely reliable

Your problem for today

What went wrong with the Blink Generation?

Make it louder

Pardon?

Night watch

One to sleep, one to watch: the system is working

Door demonstrators

Despite excellent work, most people did not appreciate the concept

Look sky

Sometimes it's hard to accept that even when it isn't there, it's there

Boutique

"Would the young lady care to see something from the cabinet?"

A little dance

Have one, do one, be one

Factory hands

That's correct, it's an industrial strength pun

This bouquet

Pardon me a moment. I believe this is for you?

Suitor unsuitability

She asked him not to take it personally

but he was far too preoccupied with treading air

View from the sea side

Long distance swimmers may encounter unexpected offshore structures

Gothic

Traipsing through the draughty night,

wondering if the author could contrive

an ending involving marriage to her guardian

The point of pointing

By and large, it's to enlarge... the point

Instructions

To speak to the Ombudsman, press O

To hear a lullaby, press L

To buy crisps, press P

If you are under 18, press shift + <

If you are over the limit, press shift + >  approximately

To pause and then continue, press ,

To end, press . or just hang up

Spiral Bound Salon

"And how does Madam like it?"  

There came a dark day

When the sun slipped down the back of the sofa

Electric butterflies

This is all we have in the file on electric butterflies

An advisory from our test kitchen

We'd like to talk to you today about the dangers of fairy bread

Behind that ride

Is the operator, and behind that operator is a large hole 

and behind that large hole is another ride, and behind that other ride

is another operator, and behind that other operator is

a very tiny mirror held by

a flea in a velvet suit

and on his lapel

is this

*

When one goes out

One likes to have one's hot cuppas

Stereo branches

Open late into the night

Sopping sodden soaking saturated

Awfully wet 

Need portholes?

Desire a backward glance? We can help

Dear diary

"I've begun to wonder why my family rustles when they should crackle"

Something you've never drawn before

Tigers dancing with roses in their teeth

By May Morgan, 5

Animals on the moon in space suits

By Daisy Morgan, 6

Horses in a fish and chip shop


Recently, Daisy, May and I
decided to take up the challenge to draw something new
to each of us. They seemed to thrive outside their comfort zone,
and clearly I should be going to them for drawing lessons.
Until then I'll probably go back to not drawing horses in fish shops.

My thanks to Daisy and May

Hot water

"Did you see that?" "No. What? Did you?"

About scissors

The more you stare at them, the more exhibitionist they become

Quaint nation

We like oddities in our picnic areas

Pacing fingers

What can be going through their minds?

The power to elect

We give you: The Hats & Sausages Party

Guard

"Really, it's all right to stand down now and go to bed"

Armchair shift

The aim of the armchair shift is to shift the armchair

Wet

It rained all week at the holiday camp for shower heads

And paddlepops wear balaclavas

But not for the purpose of disguise

Though life be lurid

Polite hand signals will be available in the foyer

Apropos of nothing

The pattern jumped off the tablecloth and ran into a tunnel, screaming

Mind how you go

A community service announcement from the men who watch your step

Candlewickers

Arcane of purpose, rosy in hue, dextrous by nature - please employ us 

Chasm

Chasm: (noun), a gap in the world designed for yawning and opera

Life in the end house

Sometimes at night there's a peculiar rubbing noise

Mystery shoppers

"Now we've invented it, what do you think we should do with it?"

Hot water accordion

Where music and plumbing collide

Dub surgeons

That's D b b b b b  S R G N N N N N n n n s s 

Say no to flow charts

Unless you are planning anarchy in the potting shed

Mouse knees

They danced till they ran out of streets to twirl down

Stretch your legs

Ladies and gentlemen, the bus is about to stop for a 10 minute break