About scissors

The more you stare at them, the more exhibitionist they become

Quaint nation

We like oddities in our picnic areas

Pacing fingers

What can be going through their minds?

The power to elect

We give you: The Hats & Sausages Party

Guard

"Really, it's all right to stand down now and go to bed"

Armchair shift

The aim of the armchair shift is to shift the armchair

Wet

It rained all week at the holiday camp for shower heads

And paddlepops wear balaclavas

But not for the purpose of disguise

Though life be lurid

Polite hand signals will be available in the foyer

Apropos of nothing

The pattern jumped off the tablecloth and ran into a tunnel, screaming

Mind how you go

A community service announcement from the men who watch your step

Candlewickers

Arcane of purpose, rosy in hue, dextrous by nature - please employ us 

Chasm

Chasm: (noun), a gap in the world designed for yawning and opera

Life in the end house

Sometimes at night there's a peculiar rubbing noise

Mystery shoppers

"Now we've invented it, what do you think we should do with it?"

Hot water accordion

Where music and plumbing collide

Dub surgeons

That's D b b b b b  S R G N N N N N n n n s s 

Say no to flow charts

Unless you are planning anarchy in the potting shed

Mouse knees

They danced till they ran out of streets to twirl down

Stretch your legs

Ladies and gentlemen, the bus is about to stop for a 10 minute break